Out of Context Quote of the Week

“You should just throw up on him.”

Resolutions and junk and stuff.

So I was relaxing on this sunny, frigid New Years Day, mulling over a few ideas for new posts on this moribund blog, when suddenly, like manna from internet heaven, this gem arrived from my sister:

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This confirms my long held suspicion that the only reason anyone ever read this blog was to see KD’s comments/guest-posts.

I see how it is.

Out of Context Quote of The Week: Mother-In-Law Christmas Edition

“I like that Betty Boop. Even with half a head, she looks better than Santa.”

Out of Context Quote of the Week

“But, there’s no blood or poo on you, so how can you be working?”

Out of Context Quote of the Week

“I need to sit on a lesbians lap right now!”

Conversations with Carl

Driving to school, after having been regaled with the sum total of his knowledge of the communication methods of dogs, –  apparently it mostly involves “smelling each others butts!” — the subject suddenly changed …

Carl:  “What is the seed that gets put in a lady’s belly to make a baby called?”

Me:  “…”

Me:  “… Uh … it’s called a sperm cell.”

Carl:  “SPERM?!”

Me:  “Yes.”

Carl:  Quietly to himself … “sperm.”

Carl:  “…”

Me:  (please don’t ask me how it gets in the woman.)

Carl:  “How big is it?”

Me:  “It’s very tiny.  Too small to see with your eyes.”

Carl:  “Is it big enough so you can feel it?”

Me:  (Don’t.  Laugh.)  “No, too small to feel.”

Carl:  “…”

Carl:  “SO HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU PUT IT IN?”

Me:  (oh, for the love of … )  “Um … well … you just … know.”

Carl:  “Does it just make a popping sound?!”

Me:  (Bwahahaha-don’t you laugh, goddammit!)  “No, buddy.  No popping sound.)

Carl:  “… Oh …”

Carl:  “What does ‘FedEx’ mean?”

Me:  (OH, THANK YOU PASSING SHINY FEDEX TRUCK!)  “It means …”

In case you missed CX Worlds …

… here’s this.

And this.