Driving to school, after having been regaled with the sum total of his knowledge of the communication methods of dogs, – apparently it mostly involves “smelling each others butts!” — the subject suddenly changed …
Carl: “What is the seed that gets put in a lady’s belly to make a baby called?”
Me: “…”
Me: “… Uh … it’s called a sperm cell.”
Carl: “SPERM?!”
Me: “Yes.”
Carl: Quietly to himself … “sperm.”
Carl: “…”
Me: (please don’t ask me how it gets in the woman.)
Carl: “How big is it?”
Me: “It’s very tiny. Too small to see with your eyes.”
Carl: “Is it big enough so you can feel it?”
Me: (Don’t. Laugh.) “No, too small to feel.”
Carl: “…”
Carl: “SO HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU PUT IT IN?”
Me: (oh, for the love of … ) “Um … well … you just … know.”
Carl: “Does it just make a popping sound?!”
Me: (Bwahahaha-don’t you laugh, goddammit!) “No, buddy. No popping sound.)
Carl: “… Oh …”
Carl: “What does ‘FedEx’ mean?”
Me: (OH, THANK YOU PASSING SHINY FEDEX TRUCK!) “It means …”
