Making history.

Well, the inauguration is over, the oath has been administered… sloppily… and Judd Gregg is standing on the podium wearing a UNH wool hat.  It is a great day for all Americans.

I feel compelled, however, to acknowledge the true historical significance of this moment in our nations history:

For the first time in over 40 years… we finally have a hot first lady!

Granted, she’s no Judi Dench, but we can’t have everything.

You can call me “Strike”.

There has long been a habit among members of my generation that causes me equal parts amusement and aggravation.  Is it our collective lack of personal responsibility?  Our overdeveloped sense of entitlement and expectation that everyone else should accommodate us?  The pervasive culture of victim-hood?  The scourge of political correctness?

Nope, I’m not that deep.

It’s “trendy” baby names.

Whatever happened to naming your kid John, Bill, Mike, Mary, Sue or Kathy – solid names that have seen good service for generations.  Names that leave no doubt if the child is male or female.  These days, androgyny is all the rage.  Apparently, you are now required to name your kids something like Aidan, Kaden, Jaden, Madison, Brianna or Jadyn.  And yes, some of those are boys names according to babynames.com.

Interesting note:  If you take a trendy boys name and change an ‘e’ into a ‘y’, it magically transforms it into a trendy girls name!  eg: “Jaden” & “Jadyn”.  Isn’t that stupid fun?

(Yes, there’s a huge website dedicated solely to baby names.  In fact, there are nearly 9 million web pages, according to Google, having to do with naming your baby.  Hey, you can never do enough research when taking on the herculean task of naming an infant.  Of course, after my head exploded when I Googled ‘squat lobster’ , I’m really not surprised.)

The reason I bring all this up is that the current political circus engulfing the nation has given us one of the most extreme examples of the trendy name … uh … trend.

Sarah Palin, – love her or hate her – has taken this fad to an almost comical level.  Her kids names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.  I sometimes get the feeling that each time she gave birth, she just flipped open a dictionary to a random page and named her kid the first word her finger landed on.  Seriously … “Track”?  She actually named a human being “Track”.  Deliberately.  That’s not even something you name your pet, for chrissake!

And now you too can find out what your name would be if Sarah Palin was your mother.  Check out the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator.  This thing is great!

Mine is – wait for it – “Strike Chipper Palin”!  Which is actually a pretty damn macho name.  The only way it could get any more manly is by changing the last name to something tough, like … Armstrong.

Strike Chipper Armstrong!  Fuck yeah!

But you can just call me Strike.

What’s your “Palin Name”?